and everyone is being analysed

and everyone is being wronged along the way

my countless tries to stay have backfired

i’m in the midst of all these strangers faces

they have tried to make me embrace my loneliness

but i just couldnt do it

and since ive been carrying around all these mirrors that i’ve collected

they’re all over my house

on the ceiling

on the mantlepiece

on the walls

one alongside my bed

and i’m so fretted to leave it in the morning

after i’ve awakened next to my own face

i worry that i look into them too long

that i’m not strong enough to be with or without them

that i am too self obsessed

but i’m also scared that if i dont pass the test of trying to establish that im still there

and that i am the person i believe to be

i will go mad

i was so upset one time

staring into one when i was little

trying to forget that i was set up to be something

someone

and that along the way i would have convinced myself to stay

but in that moment all i wanted was to stray into disarray

trying to grasp the learning without context

we try to see the colours and name them

and in that moment all i could think was

i couldn’t understand why

we had to be so misunderstood

just brooding in my own fatigue

the tears leaking from my eyes

despising the world that made me

and that made me stay

and all the things i needed to say

every thought sprouting from my brain

an insane tornado making its way into the life we call mine

and then unto yours

-D.