admittedly

the things we do to survive

the life that persists even though the mind lays in absence waiting

falling endlessly with no ground to stand on

longing for justice for the compromises the body had to make
the mistake of screaming too late

compromised self and
sense of self
life and everything in it connected to the bones that were not my own

fading out slowly but steadily

guilt
disparagement
shamefaced

fear

mental terror
for years to come

-D.